Dear Environmentalists…

So… Beavers illegally logging, eating camels and kangaroos, what is next?  Seriously, these are headlines form the last few days in which these people are freaking out about some of the dumbest things.

I am not sure what you folks do for a living, but evidently the whole economic downturn isn’t effecting you much. If it is, you aren’t letting on.

In the town where I grew up, you guys came in and whined about the spotted owl. You killed the economy. It was a logging town, and that is what we did. We cut down trees, and those trees were tuned into lumber. The lumber was used to build homes. When that whole whiny explosion happened, it ruined our town.

I recovered, but there were a whole lot of folks that didn’t. Even in the housing boom, my little town didn’t boom very well. Well, now we are all in trouble. Job losses are at an all time high. The economy continues to tank, and you fruitloops are still hollering and screaming that we have to save the world…  Somehow, regardless of the income of the average American, you insist that we walk softly and plant flowers everywhere we go. You know, i have to be honest with you. Right now, I am just trying my best to make sure that my family is taken care of. Spotted owls, and yellow salamanders be damned.

Now I am not going to dump the oil from my most recent oil change into the gutters or anything, but you know what? I am not going out of my way to use recycled materials, go green, and eat organic. I am going to buy what is cheap. I don’t care if something I eat causes some bird to lose an acre of land, not today.

I am happy, when times are good, to help out a little. Right now I think it might be a good time for Obama to lay off that whole promise of a greener administration. I am thinking that the money it would cost to go green would be better off spent on other things.

I know, fish sparkle nice, and baby monkeys are cute. I really like wildflowers, and I think mountains are pretty. I think that in general, folks aren’t out to wreck the world. I think, that it is probably time to stop worrying about flatulent cows and kangaroos, and focus on the effect of no jobs on our fellow man.

In this time, when things are so tough, it is time to focus on getting everyone through this slump. Once the money comes in, it would be awesome if we worried about bovine farts, but for now… not so much.

If it happens that you are able to focus your efforts on saving the endangered prarie dog because you have plenty of money, well, maybe you aught to worry about the endangered family.

Working for yourself.

  I have decided, that I hate bosses. Not the people themselves, though I have had a few that I won’t invite over for after dinner snacks, but the position. It’s not so much the fact that I have someone that is trying to rule my life, It is just that so far, I have had bad luck with having to deal with inept people trying to do a job they aren’t qualified to do.

  I give up! My solution, is to be my own boss. That is right, I am going into business for myself. Ok, only temporarily, while I am looking for work I have picked up some side-work doing construction.

  I still have a real jerk for a boss. This guy is lazy! Man, I wish he would just get off his rear end and do stuff he is supposed to get done.  He pays for crap, and the tools he gives me to work with are marginal at best.

 Ok, not really. I am just grateful I have work right now. It is tough out there. I have found, that I have a problem.

  Construction workers are tough. I can carry 5-2×4’s at a time, and hoist 4×8 sheets of 1/2 inch plywood up on a roof. I used to be a skinny little flower, but in my old age, I have gotten some meat on my bones. I have spent the last few months growing one of those little miniature goatee thingys under my bottom lip, so when I wear a beanie and sunglasses, I look super tough.

I listen to Def Leppard really loud and drink caffeinated coke. I also have my work belt all full of tools. I really look the part. If I had an Indian and a sailor, I would make a very convincing construction worker.  Once, I even had a band-aid on my finger, and it has to be convincing when I forget my pencil in my hat and I walk into the hardware store. I am, as far as anyone is concerned, a bonified construction worker/carpenter.

  I am totally going to lose my street cred. Seriously, I envy those guys in their trucks. I have some serious truck envy. Do you have any idea what can happen to a guy that pulls up to the hardware store in his Jetta? I am building a friggin house, and I am trying to drive around with copper pipe hanging out my back window. I am the nerd of the construction community.

  I really need a truck. Plywood on the roof of a Volkswagen? You have to be joking me? I am the butt of the all the jokes as I drive by McDonalds at luck time. I can;t even show my face at the mobile lunch wagon.

  Oh well, what do you do, right? I guess I could always ask my boos to spring for one, but he is a real jerk.